Work Work Work

Let's be real here...I suck at blogging. My father pointed out I am late for my bi-monthly frenetic, boarderline-incoherent, and more-or-less uninformative blog post...that was three weeks ago. So, NOW I am really late!!

But it's ok. Because I have something to blame...work. Work. and more WORK! So, I've realized recently I've never actually described what I do here. Let me take this time to rectify this by explaining a typical first day...the first day is by far the most chaotic and stressful. I started with doing a full week but realized it would literally take ages to both write and read despite that, I warn you this may take a while.

Monday morning between 6:15 and 9 o'clock:
Arrive to what is known as "the slab", aptly named for the narrow stretch of concrete that is the only workable surface outside of our operations shed. This is a gigantic unsightly pole barn that houses about a bazillion tents, sleeping mats, sleeping bags, camping packs, rain gear, cooking gear: everything necessary for up to like 600 kids to be fully outfitted for their time on camp. The shed is the launch pad. Sitting outside the shed is the OEG fleet of hilux trucks with attached fully loaded box trailers (or bike or canoe trailors, depending on the program). Programs can be up to 12 groups large. Each group can have up to 14 kiddos anywhere from grade 5 to grade 10 or 11 depending on the week as well as 1 teacher. So...(12x14kids)+(12x1teachers)=180 bodies. All of which will need gear. But that is not the whole of it because there are of course sizes to backpacks, overgear, and gaiters (an outdoor version of leg warms used to keep legs safe from blackberries and snakes). So, with allowing for an appropriate size assortment we're talking a veritable shit ton of gear.
Once on the slab Group Leaders (GLs) must complete a safety check on any vehicles that are to be used: tire pressure, oil, mileage (recorded in kilometers if that makes any sense). Those not checking vehicles begin pulling out the food tubs/eskies--coolers--to be loaded. Another quick math problem food for 192 bodies (including GLs) for 3 meals (there is also one snack and one dessert per day but we'll ignore that for now) for 5 days...192bodies x 3meals x 5days=2880 meals. This is by no means a small ordeal. Once food is loaded then an empty hilux is loaded with all the GL personal gear and we are off to the races. OEG programs can be as close as Eildon/Wanggari which takes no more than 7 minutes to drive to or who knows the upward limit like 8 hours (these typically get a travel day though which mean you leave on sunday and ruins your whole weekend!). Anyway, we're going to Eildon Centre this time.

Monday 8-10:30ish:
 Arrive at Eildon Centre. Find and retreive your briefing notes and map case that you stupidly packed away with your pack (everytime!!), make yourself a cup of coffee and get ready for the group breifing by your Course Coordinator (CC). The CC is the one whole plays God for the program. Anything you need done your CC is there to cover your back. They are the ones who designed the program. They talked to the school to get the idea of what the focus of the week is going to be. These are of not abstract concepts but are a big selling point for OEG programs and are called Educational Outcomes. Examples are Accepting Challenge, Leadership, Enviornmental Connection, Followership, Emotional Resiliance, Spirituality (???), Respect and Responsibility and others that I should be able to list but can't be bothered right now. These ideas are meant to be a blanket outcome for the entire week. School will typically pick two or three to focus on. As a GL it is your job to make everything that happens good/bad, fun/boring, easy/hard whatever to relate in some way back to these goals. Back to the briefing, huh? The CC lays out the game plan. Imagine they are Lombardi and you play for the packers--they have the confidence, they have that experience, that look in their eye that makes everyone excited. If that is the case your week is going to be awesome! You can bet they've thought of everything and will anticipate your every need. Sweet as! But if they are like Romeo Crunell and have a glossy sheet over their eyes, look confused, and basically stand there the entire time with their arms crossed over their chest you can bet you are in for hell.  At this point you first get your roster and med forms. These tell you who is likely to die spontaneously because they are allergic to jumping jack ants that are literally EVERYWHERE! And you have a moment where you frantically review the emergency first aid procedures for epipens in your head and realize you may have to forcibly stab a needle into this person's leg to save their life at some point this week. And it could happen at any time! Or see who in your group are lac-tards or glu-tards or like to think they are vegetarian which means cooking is going to three times harder than it has to be. Anyway, the CC and the however many GLs all have a nice chat about how great this week is going to be. And it has been so far....the kids haven't gotten there yet.

Around12:00 Monday:
Buses roll up. Game face goes on.
Picture this-- two chartar busses with probably 100 kids all of whom have been couped up storing energy--as only children can--for sometimes upwards of 4 hours arrive and all file off the bus. Daunting to say the least! Crowd control starts early or it won't start at all!
"Laides and Gentlemen welcome! We need everyone to grab a bag off of the bus and carry it to where I am standing! It doesn't have to be your bag just any bag! And bring it over to where I am! You there? What are you waiting on? Nope nope just grab any bag our main goal is just to unload the bus! We'll worry about whose bag is whose later! For now grab a bag and bring it to me! What are all of these bags doing right next to the bus? Am I standing by the bus? Then let's fix this shall we!"
From here you roll call your kids and you hear yourself say things like "if I botch your name I'm sorry and just let me know" even though you remember from being a how annoying it was that everyone who has ever done a roll call ALWAYS said that without fail!
Now you have your kids and believe it or not the next 10 minutes will be critical to your week! Fun fact, kids are like sharks. Sharks can smell blood from miles away. Kids can smell fear, hesitation, and weakness. The first 10 minutes they'll get a feel for your style. You can't be weak or they'll walk all over you but you can't be too hard or they'll not connect with you. No pressure now...just relax...AHHH!!
***In reality this isn't quite as monumental as all of this (I don't think) but it sure does seem like it***
Play a quick game with the kids to ease the awkward we-just-met-each-other tension as well as try to remember 15 names in 10 minutes--my favorite is one called Who Stole My Flaming Dead Monkey. At some point during the first 30-45 minutes you pull aside your teacher and start your genial and professional relationship with a clear and concise explanation of emergency procedures as well as what is expected of them and the start of the buddy buddy chats you'll have. It is your job to make the teacher happy. They are the ones who fill out the performance reviews for GLs and once back at school are the leading authority on "Was the OEG camp worth it." So both you and the company has a vested interest in making them have a good time.

Next you herd your group to your staging area which because you are a good group leader you have already set up in advance. The staging area is where and when the kiddos get issued their backpacks, their sleeping mats, their tents (3 per tent), their gaiters, and their rain gear. It is also where they transfer their possessions from the bags they came with (their 'soft' bags) into their hiking packs. This may sound simple but it is probably the most important segment of the week. Why? "There is no such thing as bad weather. Just bad clothing." That's a quote I've run across and find it particularly well phrased. Most weeks have had some sort of rain or cold or heat or wind or whatever environmental factor you can imagine. Kids having the correct gear is of paramount importance if you want your week to go over well. So, sadly, you must literally ask the entire group to take clothing out to show you piece by piece because as I have experienced first hand if you simply ask "Ok, so everyone has a full set of thermals? Top and bottom, right? I know I've asked 5 times but this is important. I need to see everyone shake their heads, 'yes'" only to find on day three when it is absolutely freezing and wet that Patrick doesn't have either top or bottoms! Sigh...
If you don't check what your kids are taking you would be amazed at what they try to stuff into these packs--3 huge cotton sweatshirts, 4 pairs of pants, 8 shirts, 3 beanies, 2 scarves, 3 pairs of shoes...and they are only going to be on camp for 4 nights?!? Not ok. So you pretty much tell them what they have to pack and then, because most of these kids do not have much experience in outdoorsy stuff, you go over how to pack their backpacks: sleeping bags and clothes in the water proofing at the bottom of the pack, then group gear, then miscellaneous personal gear, then food, then flashlights (called torches here) and rain gear in the top of their packs. Lots and lots of information for them really.

And you typically have about 1 or so to do all of this. Why/ Because you have to get them ready to go do their first activity...

Monday ~2 o'clock:
Stash their soft bags wherever your CC has told you to and get your group ready to go on their first activity. Mountain biking today.
Corral all of the kids and distribute appropriately sized bikes, helmets, reflective vests (sexy!), riding packs, and gloves and then go over a safety briefing for the "how to"s of biking. No wheelies (called monos here), feather the brakes, roll up your right pant legs, check your brakes are working, how to adjust your seat, etc. Make sure you get the kids to get a test ride in because there is a distressing population of kids that have NEVER RIDDEN A BIKE AT THE AGE OF 13! Makes me sad. But in a group of 14 nearly every time you have one kid who has never been on two wheels.
After they ride in a circle for to show they can at least balance on the thing you are start off riding on a 100 km road (about 55 mph). really it is pretty easy because it doesn't get too much traffic but that traffic is flying so it is kind of scary. The GL typically leads the pack, always with an eye behind you to make sure no one is dying, letting the teacher bring up the rear. Pretty flat, smooth sailing for the first 5ks or so. By that time you've left the highway and have gotten to the "mountain bike track" on OEG property. This course is pretty tame but statistically I believe mountain biking is the number one incident-ed activity OEG runs so that is fun. Anyway, guide the chitlins through the course testing their endurance, emotional resilience, or whatever the learning outcomes of the week are. Be sure to point it out to them as they are doing it..."Look at that element you just rode down? Congrats on accepting the challenge laid out before you." or whatever.
Finish up your cycle ride with a long winding downhill section which is a welcome feeling after going up for the majority of the ride and you cruise on into OEG's privately owned and operated campsites called Wanggari. Immediately upon arriving restate how the activity helped them in the learning outcomes..."scale of one to ten who is felt a bit challenged on the mountain bike course? Awesome! i see a huge range of numbers. those that were challenged a lot, well done! it takes a lot of courage to face your fears. those that found the course easy you may think about helping out those that struggled with this task in our activities tomorrows because guys we are a team here. Be a leader and lend a hand to those that are struggling. Great job!" Something like that...

By now, if all has gone well, it is probably around 5 o'clock:
Now, let's say it is late fall (end of April). 5 o'clock the sun has already begun to set. So, the mad camp dash begins. Organize your kids to pick up the gear--kindly shuttled by your cycle support dude--not only their own packs but also the group food and the group gear and shuttle all of it to your camp. This'll take about 30 minutes with the 3 laps it'll take the group to get all the gear and the "I have to go to the toilet" breaks. By now, the sun has set behind the hills and you know the residual glow lasts no time at all so you have to get camp set up. But, these kids don't really know how to set up their tents. So, with no time to show them properly you tell them to start putting up their tents and you'll come around and help when they need. After they reply "But I don't know how!" you tell them to give it a go and you'll come around to help when they need. Which sounds a lot like what you just told them, right?
Anyway, while they start trying their tents you have to start setting up the cooking circle. This isn't too difficult really. Grab a rope from your group gear and make it into a circle and put all of the cooking gear in it: big pot, big wok, 2 spaceships (which hold the pot/wok), and a trangea--camp stove and pots.
Before you get this done though the kids all want some help with their tents so you run around giving tips and explanations for how the tents work. Depending on the group this can be more suggestions such as "You should think about how you orient your tent so you have your heads up hill" to "This heavier part that has the zippers on the things that look like doors is the body to your tent. It goes up first, not your fly." To be fair it's not their fault but pretty much every wrong way to put up a tent they will find. and they will try.

Eventually...about 6:45:
All tents are up and everyone has moved in. But now it is of course completely dark. You give the hollar for everyone to exit their tents with their torches (flashlights). Your briefings for the day are not done yet because it is time to teach everyone how to use the OEG cooking equipment because they are the ones in charge of their meals. By now though I have briefed them on how camp is going to run, how to pack their backpacks, how to ride mountain bikes, how to put up their tents, handwashing station, and probably a couple of others and they are tired of hearing you talking and frankly, you are tired of talking. So I typically try to do a I've-lost-my-voice-from-talking-so-much-today silent briefing where they have to guess from my acting how to not kill themselves while cooking with open flames. All in all it is pretty easy to do but it is also one of most likely to seriously injure a kid if you don't do it well. After everyone has seen the briefing (they'll all get a chance to cook during the week) everyone except the 3 or 4 who are on cooking duty that night have an hour or so of free time while dinner is being prepared.
Here is where you get your teacher to take the ball for a while. You have them preside over the food prep. They watch over the food gathering and the food chopping and so on.
While they take charge of that section you tell the kids not cooking that if they want a fire they have to go gather fire wood. Leave them to that task and wander away with your work cell phone/walkie talkie to contact your CC. Apologize that you missed the 6:00 check in (you check in every day at 8 am and 6 pm) to get your group sorted out. These check ins are a chance for the CC to give you pertinent weather information and any changes to the outline have been (i.e. you need to be at high rope at 930 tomorrow not 9). This is also the chance for you to relay any pressing matters about your group. Any kids you have doubts about going on the bushwalk tomorrow? or any kids been feeling ill? etc. Get and give your information and get back to camp.
Have the kids bring in their fire wood and give a short spiel about how to make a sweet fire tepee or log cabin...depending on your personal tastes. Get the fire going and the kids will naturally congregate around it as it is starting to get pretty chilly.
Head back over to the cooking group to oversee and lend any advice you have garnered from cooking the same meals every week for the past 3 months and help monitor the cooking circle. Typically meals only are fried veggies and some precooked meat with a easy and tasty sauce on top all served on rice or noodles. Number one challenge here? Cooking rice in the field. Two reasons: first it takes about 32 hours to boil enough water. and second, this is one that doesn't behoove you to let the kids take charge of unless you like your rice black, crispy, and stuck to the bottom of your pot.

something to consider...is it raining? if so everything becomes 10 times more difficult!

Hopefully, dinner is finished and served sometime between 730 and 8 o'clock.
Once dinner is served and before you eat chuck half a pot of water back onto the burners to warm up for dishes later. Spend dinner chatting around the fire. Allow kids to be kids and make their jokes and have their laughs. This is actually pretty awesome. Kids are freaking hilarious! If the kids aren't the talkative kind this is a great chance to entertain with riddles or camp stories or songs. Personally I am riddle kind of guy. "What can travel anywhere in the world but has to stay in one corner?" "1 costs 20 cents. 12 costs 40 cents. and 129 costs 60 cents. What am I?" Love riddles.
Anywho, as dinner is dying down you clear some space to get in your end-of-day debrief. The goal of this is to get an active discussion going about everyone's day. One of my go-tos is the poop sandwich. 1 good thing about your day. then one bad thing. followed by another good thing. good.bad.good=poop sandwich. This is typically the best part of the day as you would be surprised the great answers you get. Kids that didn't seem to have fun say there was so many goods to choose from and some kids won't be able to come up with a bad. It's great.
After everyone has shared you rally the troops once again to come learn how OEG does the dish clean up. Kids HATE this! Most of these kids are pretty privileged and comment that "they have never had to do a dish in their life"...sigh...
By now it is every bit of 930 which in my camp is tent time. Everyone finishes dishes, using the toilet, brushes teeth and has 30 minutes to talk in tents before lights out and silence takes effect. More than likely this is the kids favorite part of camp. Rarely do they have an opportunity to just hang out with kids their age without ipods, cell phones, ipads, laptops, gaming devices, internet and so on. During this time the teacher typically will stay up to help put the kids down and it is also the chummy chatty time where you do your best to relate with, comfort and have fun with your teacher.
If you have been paying close attention you may have noticed that nowhere yet have i written "and here you sneak off and set up your tent" . Well you're right. I haven't. Mainly because 80 percent of the time my tent wont go up before 10 o'clock on the first day. Granted other GLs manage to do this quite easily. But me, personally, rarely can accomplish such a feat. Anyway, while they are talking I sort our my home: tent, sleeping bag, sleeping mat, etc. 10 o'clock roles around and I scare my kids into getting to sleep by threatening to make them do the pot scrub on friday.
Now, finially, 10:15 I am in my tent and kids are asleep. And I'm Spent...
But wait...there's more! Have any of the kids needed first aid throughout the day? Anyone have a blister you had to put tape on? Anyone cut their finger chopping veggies (probably)? Anyone fall of their bike? not really even hurt themselves but just come close? You get to fill out a lovely incident form to turn in on the last day of program. Fun fun. And then after being up at 6 you get to bed around 11. Ready to be up and excited for the day at 7 the next morning.




I realize my portrayal of the first day of program may come a bit jaded and even cynical. Any and all of that is simply meant to describe the sheer duties of the job and not my experience with it. Overall it is a challenge for me, as a group leader, to better manage, plan, and execute days like this. Any time I mentioned kids being stupid it holds true that the worst taint the best as there are many kids I've had that I would be proud to have as a son or daughter or for some of the great ones even as my friends. The preceding is just a glimpse of what all goes into a day as an Outdoor Recreation Group Group Leader. Also, it is hopefully meant to explain away some of my horrible communication track record since I've been here. See, programs end on Friday night (around 6) and then in merely 2 days programs start right back up again. When I get back from this kind of stress I really can't be bothered to spend an hour writing diligently away when there is sleeping, drinking, and socializing to be done.


Hope all of you enjoyed this. But I am a realist. I know that the only people likely to read such a mammoth post are either locked in some sort of procrastination (especially those still at school. It is getting close to finals time, right?!) or related to me by blood.

Either way. I'm outta here!



Oh yea.
Aussie death trap for the blog

Box Jelly Fish

In every top deadliest animal IN THE WORLD list you'll find.
Enough said...